Alexis Vaisey
Pisces ♓
Posts: 23
Age: 23
Occupation: Investigative reporter
♡ Status: Single
OOC: Jenny
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Post by Alexis Vaisey on May 25, 2013 0:49:21 GMT
She was sure that there plenty of researchers at The New York Times with a family history involved in the military but the assignment had come across her desk and the necessity for the piece needed to be lined out for a write up before Memorial Day. Alexis was always eager to get out in the field and bring the writers as detailed of information as she could so that the readers got a full, factual, and hopefully it the writer did it right, impacting story. One Commander Wakefield of the United State Naval Service, presumed dead after his ship went down three years ago. It was national news and everyone wanted a piece of this scoop. So much tragedy flooded the news outlets that when something uplifting like this, despite the surrounding calamity behind it, the people wanted to know.
Initial reports had come in when Commander Wakefield had first come home after his stint as a prisoner of war. It was the ugly side of journalism that was most predominately displayed during those first hours. Life was put a spotlight on an individual or group and privacy was invaded to a degree that Alexis could only imagine had to be overwhelming for whoever was involved. Moments like his wife hugging him for the first time in three years, a ghost returned from the grave, had been captured on film, photos and live feeds plastered over televisions screens and people on the street showing recognition and clambering to hear his story. Alexis had waited though, out of as much courtesy to the family as she could without another reporter swooping in to get the exclusive before her. She couldn’t afford not to put her bid in.
The phone call had been pleasant and by some grace of God, Colton had agreed to meet with her to answer some of her questions. She wasn’t sure what it had been about her, except maybe the respectability and genuineness in her tone, but she would be the first to interview him and get the full story rather than the heat of the moment, disoriented responses from a distraught prisoner of war who was more concerned about getting home to his family than he was about answering the medias questions. It was the Friday before Memorial Day and Alexis would be spending the bulk of her weekend getting everything outlined for the paper based on this interview. She was even allowed to write up a mock article herself to be put into the editor for reviews under the hope that it would be good enough to make it into print but usually the bigger names at the paper got the spot.
Having agreed to meet at an eatery in Queens called The Queens Kickshaw, it was a quaint place in Astoria that served specialty coffee, cooking from scratch, and sandwiches. On the occasions she had been there the dishes were always delicious, but her favorite was the apple cobbler. Alexis arrived first grabbing a table in the back of the long, narrow restaurant, past the bar where a few customers were seated, enjoying their meals. Looking at her menu it was more of a formality than anything else and went ahead and ordered a cup of Sencha tea then reached in her bag for a small tape recorder and good old fashioned pen and pad while she waited for Colton to arrive.
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COLTON WAKEFIELD
Leo ♌
Posts: 48
Age: twenty-four
Occupation: military
♡ Status: married
OOC: cole
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Post by COLTON WAKEFIELD on May 27, 2013 16:41:55 GMT
Weak. Restless. Depressed. These were just a few words that could be described to how Colton Wakefield was feeling this past week. Many events were flying at him with a full speed after he returned home from the Navy Seals. Everyone was clapping him on the back and telling him what a great job he had done. Cole certainly did not feel as if he did anything to be proud of. The Navy Boat sunk three years ago and he managed to get himself captured with a few other men. How was that something to be proud of? Granted they came up with a plan to escape as soon as it had happened but it took them three long years to even act out how. Wouldn't a few weeks be something better? Something to be more proud of? Instead it took the crew three long years where families and friends all presumed everyone on that ship dead. On top of this how could anyone declare them heroes? In the escape not every man escaped that day...one of these men was Jacob Porter who happened to be his best friend who was shot in the escape. In the escape, Cole helped to plan throughout their years in the jail cell.
The image was all too clear in his head still to this day. He was running for his life when he heard the gun shots Cole's head quickly turned to see where the gun shots were coming from. His feet stopped as he felt himself paralyzed with nowhere to run. Then his eyes focused in and he saw that mucky brown hair of Jake's falling faster and faster on the ground. The boy had been shot Cole momentarily thought about running and fleeing for Jake but then another gun shot was sounded and that seemed to be when he was unparalyzed. His body turned back around and he went fleeting into the woods after the others and now here was back in New York. Here he was very much alive and mistaken as a hero. Nevertheless, here he was back in New York without his best friend.
The media immediately started bombarding the moment all the men stepped foot back into the states. He felt famous these last few days which was something he couldn't see himself ever really getting used to. At first, he had just wanted to get home to his wife and wrap his arms around her in a tight embrace, never let her go. The last thing on his mind would be that she had moved on from him. The last thing on his mind had been it was three years later after he was pronounced dead. He hated himself for being upset with her, he hated himself for being hurt but he was. All the pictures of him were taken down and replaced with her and another man. His heart still ached and he ran out of their as soon as he could. He made a beeline home and ever since then had been moping inside his room about the loss of his friend, and the loss of his wife. But could he blame her? He was assumed dead...it was only human to move on from the loss of a loved one. He couldn't expect her to be lonely for the rest of her life...but god, did he love her.
It really did not help matters when people phoned him every second of every day to get an interview. Some even had the disgusting ability to show up at his parent’s doorstep. They would knock on his door and the moment he opened, it would start asking questions and snapping his pictures. It irked him to no end and they were lucky his mom was lurking in the background telling him to stay calm or many of them would be getting a punch in the face and he would be facing court. Something he really found to be bullshit because they were stepping into his personal life. Why the man even decided to come out today to do an interview was beside him. Maybe it was because it was the only person that had been decently professional with him. Instead of in taking on that he HAD to do this she asked him and treated him with respect. He figured people wanted to know his story and he'd have to give it to them eventually... besides he could eat during this interview, but if she made any one wrong move he'd leave if he had to.
Walking out of his home, he took his car to The Queens Kickshaw, which happened to be fortunate for the interviewer because he'd always loved this place growing up. One of the main reasons he even agreed to the interview and it was close to home. Some wanted him to come all the way out to Manhattan this woman had the decency to meet him here in his hometown. Entering into the shop, he could feel eyes on him and then a sound of applause...something that seemed to be happening to him more often. "Damn, red-hair," he muttered under his breath...everyone had seen his red hair in pictures, and at the small ceremony...sometimes he really hated having the red hair because he was so easily spotted wherever he went. His eyes shortly after maneuvered around the restaurant before laying eyes on who he presumed was his interviewer. Making his way over to her he cleared his voice a bit before speaking up, "Are you Alexis Vaisey?"
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Alexis Vaisey
Pisces ♓
Posts: 23
Age: 23
Occupation: Investigative reporter
♡ Status: Single
OOC: Jenny
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Post by Alexis Vaisey on May 29, 2013 1:39:31 GMT
A lot of the people that she worked with had an aggressive manner to their methods. They were the ones in someone's face demanding answers and making them feel cornered. In Alexis' experience and her own personal opinion, no one liked to be made to feel as though they were under an inquisition. That put people on the defensive right away and made it harder to get the story because they were so worried about things getting twisted or saying the wrong thing in the spur of the chaotic moment. While Alexis might not have always been first on the scene she tended to get the truth out of people were commonly and easily than her co-workers. If you treated someone like an actual human being rather than just a story to up ratings you would find them more accommodating to your questions. Coming to Colton's turf, so to speak, was an action meant to put him on solid ground, somewhere for him to feel comfortable and safe.
Her grandmother had always taught her the importance of hospitality as well. When suggesting the interview she had chose to do it over lunch because sharing a meal in her home had always been an extension of friendship. She didn't want Colton feeling as though she was there to bring him any ill will. Some of the reporters had asked offensive questions like how many didn't make it or the details of the escape. Alexis knew better though. That information was probably classified and also a painful topic on an already sore topic. He had probably gone over the details of his capture and escape dozens of times during his debriefing and there would have been tons of red tape he had to deal with, which was stressful on top of everything else that he was going through at the moment. She wondered if he'd had time yet to actually grieve.
The moment he walked through that door and the applause began she recognized him and stood, both out of respect and so he might guess which person he was there to meet with. That look on his face was the same one that Alexis had seen in the clips and photos. To her it had come across as a look of shame. When trying to put that into perspective, figure out why, she imagined several reasons but kept coming back to one in particular. Alexis thought that the shame might have come from a feeling of guilt, for whatever had happened during that capture and escape. She offered him her hand in greeting. "Yes sir." Alexis smiled, softly, warmly, before taking her seat again. "Thank you again for meeting me."
She would allow Colton to make his order before she would start the conversation back up. "As I said on the phone, I work for The New York Times. If you don't mind I'm going to be recording the conversation for my own reference." Alexis held the tape recorder in her hand, thumb poised over the record button in anticipation for his answer and when he submitted, or not, she would start the questioning. "This is just the basic information, fact checking to start. You grew up right here in Queens, went to a military academy- was that the one in Carlsbad, California? Joined the Navy when you were eighteen and then advanced into SEALS training- I've heard its the most extensive and brutal training out there. You're one of the elite." She paused for a moment letting him answer and writing things down.
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COLTON WAKEFIELD
Leo ♌
Posts: 48
Age: twenty-four
Occupation: military
♡ Status: married
OOC: cole
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Post by COLTON WAKEFIELD on Jun 1, 2013 1:32:27 GMT
The man felt a major migraine shoot through his temples as he felt his head churning. Having red hair always seemed to irritate him to no end before all the commotion appeared in his life. It often made him stand out in the crowds and people often would make those 'ginger have no soul jokes' those jokes he always felt were so overdone. Now he stood out even more not just because of that bright red hair but because of his journey these past few years. Many wondered why he didn't just give in a dye his hair a different color. A color that nobody noticed or could pick fun of. His mother seemed to always be the reasoning behind this and his wife. Well...former wife? His bound to be ex-wife? He really had no clue as to who she was to him anymore... things seem to change when you're declared dead and come back three years later. Parts of him wished that maybe he had died because he wasn't certain as to how he'd ever get back into the groove of living again...
His mother was what held the man together. He'd always been a bit of a momma's boy. She'd always been the most loving, and endearing woman he had ever known. She always told him his red locks were a Wakefield tradition and she wouldn't have it any other way. All three children she bore happened to have that fiery red hair and she'd say it made her proud because her children were not just another ordinary face in the crowd, her children stood out in the crowd. She had always been able to spot them miles away. The red hair that sat upon his head also seemed to fit his strong, fiery nature in his personality. Red was a color of strong and Colton Wakefield had to be one of the strongest men alive at this moment it was only fitting for him to wear the red hair proudly. He was warrior strong and his personality was one tough exterior to break as well.
Taking a seat across from the woman he gave her a polite nod, "Not a problem," he muttered underneath his breath. Cole was not exactly a people person and it was clear in his posture that he was slightly uncomfortable but he was managing. She really had no clue to how lucky she truly was for dragging him out of his home today. All the man really wanted to do was rest, which included much needed sleep and of course, his mother's home cooking. Except with this day-to-day idea of never leaving his home, it often left his mom coming into his room with that concerned look she always gathered on her face when he was a young boy. It was partially why he agreed to come meet the woman to get away from his mother's gaze for a while. He loved the woman but he wished she'd worry a little less...granted, he sure did love to be home in her loving care again, weighting hand and foot on him. After a while as most things did...it got old quickly. At least she'd have a small leap of joy to see her son maneuvering around once again.
"Ok he lightly shrugged his shoulders, before glancing at the waitress who asked him what he had wanted to eat...the waitress seemed to have a look of anticipation for his order, ”The deluxe burger...without the pickles..." he muttered under his breath as the lady then got all giggly, and gave out a loud cheer of…
oh goody! that's what i was hoping for. we call that the 'hold the pickles cole burger' now! it's your specialty burger she was all smiles as Cole gave a look of confusion, then offered up a sweet, plasted on fake smile, "Oh, well, that's...wonderful. Thanks..." he gave a flashing grin, as his face turned a hint of red...clearly, embarrassed by that little announcement. All he kept thinking was how everyone recognized him as some hero from their city that they were proud of but Cole...he hated it. He hated this kind of spotlight when he felt he was anything but a hero. A wimp, or coward maybe...but he was no hero. He couldn't even save his best friend...he ran... he ran and saved his own life.
"Yeah, Army and Navy Academy..." he nodded in agreement, doing his best not to show how creeped out he felt at the information she already knew. "Brutal training...yeah...wouldn't call myself an elite though..." more muttering under his breath as his eyes averted to the table, he hadn't even really managed to make much eye contact with the woman yet. He really was just hoping his food would get here soon because at least eating always helped the uncomfortable situation he could focus on chewing his food rather than what he was actually doing here.
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Alexis Vaisey
Pisces ♓
Posts: 23
Age: 23
Occupation: Investigative reporter
♡ Status: Single
OOC: Jenny
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Post by Alexis Vaisey on Jun 2, 2013 0:09:59 GMT
Sometimes, Alexis tried to put herself into a state of mind that likened that of the person she was interviewing. It often helped put her in a better position not to offend them or upset in any way. It was tough enough opening yourself up to being questions, especially for public consumption so whatever Alexis could do to ease that, she tried to make it happen. Already she’d attempted to put Colton in an easier setting and respect his privacy by not suggesting his own home, but it had backfired slightly with the unwanted recognition here. She could see it on his face, that distaste for people beaming at him over something that he’d done when he was hurting over it. Slipping into what she thought might be his mindset, she could imagine why. An entire ship had sank, so many souls lost to the ocean and only a few surviving to be captured and God knew what had happened to them during those three years. Those that were captured hadn’t all made it either.
Colton wasn’t in a celebratory mood, he was morning the loss of his friends and these people were cheering. Alexis’ heart fluttered at the idea of it, how it must have made him feel. She swallowed hard, taking down a lump that had begun to form as her emotions found their way to the surface. She smiled weakly instead hoping that it wouldn’t come across as condescending to him. Alexis wanted to offer a hand of friendship here but was also trying to get the truth, tell his story. Maybe that was where she really needed to start this. She could ask him questions until she was blue in the face but would that really get her the results she was hoping for and furthermore, what exactly was it that she was seeking from this interview. Did she want a fluff piece that would hail Colton’s bravery- or did she want the American people to see just how ugly war could be and the sacrifices that had to be made while some protest and politicians bickered?
She made a few notes of confirmation about the basic information. Colton was being modest because Navy Seals were the top of the barrel. The things that they had to learn, the strength it took simply to pass their BUD/S training- they were America’s toughest warriors taking only the best of the best and putting them through hell to dwindle down to the select few that were hard enough, smart enough, and skilled enough to do what it took. She wouldn’t correct him though because it was his opinion. In her research previous to the interview there were a few things that had stuck out and likely applied to Colton at the moment. One of which was scribbled on her notepad. Leave no man behind. It was something that they lived by but Colton and the others had to in order to come home. Alexis was sure that with new intel from the survivors another team would be sent in to extract the body, or bodies as the case may have been, but Colton had to live now with his code broken.
Alexis went to write something else when she suddenly dropped her pen and sighed. ”Colton, may I call you that?” She’d pause get her answer before continuing. ”I came here to ask you questions, form some kind of timeline for the events that took place over the three years you were a prison of war- that was my assignment.” Maybe her bosses wouldn’t like the opportunity she had being wasted like she was about to but not everything was as cut and dry as people assumed it to be. ”Instead, I think I’d like to ask you what story you want told. What experiences you want the American people to know about or message you’d like to send to them? You’ve been through a lot, I can hardly imagine just how much, you should be able to let people know what you think they should know about what happened, not necessarily make a chronicle of events.”
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COLTON WAKEFIELD
Leo ♌
Posts: 48
Age: twenty-four
Occupation: military
♡ Status: married
OOC: cole
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Post by COLTON WAKEFIELD on Jun 21, 2013 18:01:34 GMT
Why could people not just leave everyone alone? People had just wanted to be spending time with loved ones, holding them in their arms and telling them they were okay. The men that had suffered in lock up, beaten, and tortured on a daily basis just wanted some time to spend at home, sleeping in a nice bed, and eating a warm meal for the first time in three years. Many of the men were near death, and some died from starvation, or the beating. The meals they lived on often were just bread, water, and crackers...it was better than nothing but it was hardly nothing at all. Some men resorted to eating various bugs that would crawl upon the dirt. In training, they had learned of all types of what would be considered 'nutrition' or 'alright' bugs to eat and when you needed to survive you did what you had to do. Colton was guilty of eating a few rare bugs himself but that was only when he could feel himself getting too weak to even function, when he felt himself on the brink of death. The only thing holding him onto his life was his family...they were his definition of hope. Had it really been too much to ask to just be left alone for the time being? Did they not deserve that much after all they had been through?
It seemed it was out of the question. He witnessed a few of the soldiers going around America on trips and offering to go on shows such as Good Morning America and tell their stories. Others more like Colton were trying to stay out of the spotlight. He understood that some families that were volunteering their time to introduce their stories were becoming instant famous and even gathering up free Disney World Trips, and money for their families. As if free things were really going to wash away the memories of what happened. This was not at all Colton's cup of tea he did not want free things given to him just because of what he faced. He didn't want to be recognized as a hero because he didn't feel like one. His best friend died, other's died and he just wanted to be left alone. It was even to the point he wanted to be left alone from his family...left alone to just sleep and try to get out of his negative mind set. He knew maybe if it wasn't for Kacey moving on from him that it'd probably be a different story...but it was what it was.
The woman across from him really had been no different than everyone else wanting to get a story. Cole knew she was only here to make a great story and get her next paycheck. Really he had wished he stuck to his gut and never showed up here she had got him out on account of his moms' nagging him to leave to go see friends, or Kacey to talk which he was not about to do. That and well...he really wanted a damn burger from this joint. It was after all one of his favorite places to go before he entered the Navy. But, now looking around, and faces staring at him, the change of a Burger name it was making him all extremely uncomfortable. And, as this woman sat across him asking him what story he wanted to tell he was undeniable speechless. Truth of the matter was he had no real story to tell. What story was there to tell? How he was a coward and ran off and left his friend to die? He should have gone back for him not kept running... a coward was now what he deemed as his only strength. For he once considered himself strong and now...he felt as if he was nothing but a coward.
"The boat sank. Some of us were captured and pronounced dead. We were captured. We escaped. That's it. That's all there is to it." short and sweet and to the point? He knew it wasn't what she was looking for. It wasn't his story, it wasn't details of the order of events it was just blunt and straightforward. It was bland. He then hesitantly looked up glaring at her straight in the eyes, "We were cowards. The moment we could flee we flew. We took off as fast as we could and didn't take a look back and even if we did we still ran...we continued to run even if we saw our own men lying on the ground being taken back or being killed. We ran. We were weak and we couldn't save everyone. People want to call us fucking heroes? Hero’s!?" rolling his eyes he scuffed, "Hero’s would be saving someone else's lives all we did was save our own. The past three years we were captured, held hostage, doing nothing for our country. The moment we had an escape we left not for everyone there but for ourselves. None of us took the time to save anyone but ourselves. Sure we planned the escape but what goods an escape if we don't all get out alive?" he sat back in the booth, averted his eyes away from her before letting out a,
"Is that what you're looking for Ms. Vaisey? You want a story...that's all i've got for you. You've certainly wasted your time coming here today."
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Alexis Vaisey
Pisces ♓
Posts: 23
Age: 23
Occupation: Investigative reporter
♡ Status: Single
OOC: Jenny
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Post by Alexis Vaisey on Jun 24, 2013 5:44:24 GMT
She hadn’t come here for the same slim bit of news that he was peddling her. This was a job to her, a paycheck, a story, but it was also filled with other opportunities- less obvious ones that weren’t important enough to Colton at the moment to really think about. There was something treacherous playing behind his eyes and Alexis would soon discover what exactly that was. All of the emotions that he’d bottled up were about to be shaken up and the eruption unleashed on her. It was a quick build up. The moment his eyes landed on her in such an unfavorable way she felt it coming. Lexi wasn’t prepared for it but she didn’t find it so shocking that she couldn’t take it as well as any person might. She sat back in her chair, a bit less engaging than she had been moments earlier and let him vent it all out to her.
There wasn’t any way that she would be writing that he was a coward. It wasn’t the truth. Though it might have seemed like it to him, she didn’t believe it and she could bet that the majority of others wouldn’t think so either. No one could have known what he was going through or the decisions that had to be made during his capture except the others that had been with him. If Alexis had to guess they were looking down on Colton and the others now, smiling smugly that at least some had escaped. She wasn’t an expert in these things but something that she had learned about life in general was that people died. Her own parents had been causalities of a different kind of war, one inside the mind of a single man who had his beliefs that what he was doing was the right thing too- much like the men that had captured Colton and his group. She had felt the hacking pain of a blade cutting into her flesh when she was only nine years old so maybe understood what torture was like herself.
For a while Alexis had blamed herself. She had thought that if only she’d been big enough to stop the man or fought harder to save her parents they might still be alive. She had blamed herself for their death thinking that there was more she could have done but the fact was, she didn’t have control over what had happened anymore than Colton had control over his own circumstances. Everyone had their crosses to bear. Alexis wouldn’t interrupt him letting Colton get it all out in the open, perhaps his grief being directed at the wrong person at the moment but Alexis would take it, absorb that sadness and self-loathing so he could maybe free himself from its clutches, if just a little bit. He thought that she had wasted her time but Alexis thought differently.
”No Mr.Wakefield I don’t think that I’ve wasted my time.” She shook her head looking down at her notepad. It wasn’t a story that she had gotten but more so a perspective. Alexis had gotten that inside look on the psychological effects of war, the consequences that it brought and the guilt that plagued the hearts of the men and women in its service. Alexis knew what she would write about now but it was going to be in her own words, not quoted from Colton- it was going to be about the military as a whole, not spotlighted on those that had just come back from such a trying time. ”You survived and I have to believe that the others with you would have wanted that. You better than most know that war is an ugly thing, it leaves you scared, broken and bruised but you still have your spirit and whether you see it this way or not, you’re a hero. Maybe not the kind that comes out of a situation unscratched because those are nothing short of fairytales, but the real deal. You’re someone that has been through something terrible and come out of it alive. You served this country, held strong, made it out and back home. Maybe its time to start living again.”
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COLTON WAKEFIELD
Leo ♌
Posts: 48
Age: twenty-four
Occupation: military
♡ Status: married
OOC: cole
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Post by COLTON WAKEFIELD on Jul 12, 2013 18:18:57 GMT
Living again? How in the hell was he supposed to go back to life after everything he just went through. Sometimes he honestly felt as if the best thing that could have happened to him was dying in the war. Dying as a sacrifice for America, dying a hero in war he felt might have been better then coming back as an acclaimed hero...at least that way he would have died trying to save someone, at least that way he never had to come back home facing the world again. He didn't even known how to fully function in social environments anymore and people often pissed him off more than they had when he first left. One wrong word and his cheeks would flare red and occasionally he'd snap. Alexis was already a small witness of his snapping and that was only just the beginning of it.
Nothing was stopping the nightmares and he couldn't get away from the events that he had been a part of. The looks his mom and siblings gave him were almost too unbearable and that proud look on his face his father gave him was uncomfortable. His father was a hard man to break and it was very hard to make the man proud but somehow his son coming back from the war as a known war hero made him proud. It was a step up from his younger brother that seemed to be something his father despised. He loved his brother but the kid sat in the basement doing pot and playing video games at twenty-two years old. No life ahead of him and Cole had at least went out and fought but part of Cole felt he was heading directly into the same direction as his younger brother no life ahead of him.
How could he live again when his wife seemed to have moved on? He was back at square root one it seemed or had managed to make himself fall to this spot. Really he could never remember when he was ever at square root one. It seemed his life before being captured came so natural to him. He lived a well-established life back in High School as Captain of the football team and managed to snag a few dates here nor there. Then he met the love of his life or so he assumed was the love of his life on his way back from military school at just seventeen years old, as she was sixteen and going to visit her grandmother. It was like that train ride brought them together and it was fate for them and the rest was really history as soon as they were both old enough he married her. Even his life at home had its own little perfect atmosphere...he was close with his little sister, his little brother and a mama's boy through and through. He even made his father proud when he joined the Military. Of course, not everything had a happy ending and Cole was learning this.
Just looking at his younger brother, he knew he didn't have that picture perfect family. Coming home and seeing all of his pictures taken down in his home he shared with Kacey he knew he didn't have the picture perfect life he thought he might be coming back to. In all reality, he knew his life wasn't picture perfect the moment he stepped into the Military and being captured proved it to be more truthfully every single day...reality hit him with a boulder and he still had yet to recover. And now, it seemed like he'd never get back to that lifestyle he once had...that life he loved seemingly slipped right through his fingers.
"You know nothing," he spat out, turning to look at her again, a fury in his eyes. Everyone just like her always acted as if they knew how they should come back and start living again. Acted like they knew what they witnessed and dealt with. Movies, television, and hearing about it never compared to what they really had to live in day in and day out. Nobody understood...really understood until they experienced it and nobody would understand except those few men that made it out alive with him. "I'd rather have died saving someone’s life then going out and just saving my own." he gritted down on his teeth. He knew he had a major part in the plan to escape but his pan faltered because it didn't save all the men it just saved a select few and it killed him every day knowing he was partial to blame because he helped form the escape.
"A real hero would have made sure everyone else was out first and then make his escape. Not run away like I did." he shook his head, "No. They'd have died with their men, or got out alive with everyone. They looked at me as a leader and I led some into their own deaths...that's not a hero." he eyes focused away from her again as he stared at a wall on the other side of the Cafe... a lost look in his eyes.
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